For the past three weeks I have had pain and itching on the inside of my vagina, sores have developed -
I have not had sex in years so its nothing sexual -

I have a very kind and understanding male doctor who has gotten me on the best meds for my depression and PTSD,

yet I am scared to go see him with this issue as I know I will have to have a pelvic exam or PAP test, have not had one in 20 years due to having had sexual abuse and sexual trauma to me (raped and anally raped)

now I am in pain, hurting all the time day and night
I have a appointment to see my doc on Friday but I am trying to get the nerve to ask him..

I know I need to see a doc, but how can I have a pelvic exam when I am terrified, would my doc understand if I told him this,
he knows about the sexual abuse and trauma

thanks in advance

I think he would understand

I think he would understand your discomfort at having an exam, and would make a referral to a female OB/GYN of your preference. You might be able to get the name of a one who would understand how to approach the exam by calling your local ER and briefly explaining your history to a trauma nurse who might be in a position to give you a name or two.

yes i know he will

yes i know he will is the most important could be im not trying to scare you and i know you been traumatized sexually....but this is different....think about your will have a nurse there with you have a mother or sister or maybe your best friend that could go in there with you....please go....i am so scared for you....i understand you pain i understand you being scared....i too was sexually traumatized as a little girl....i to know what you are going through...i had to get over it cause i was hurting too....but luckily there was nothing wrong that time...your dr is need to go sweet heart....waste no more time....friday go...please...don't can find the strength in you...from the way your words are spoken....and the things you been are a strong person...please email me and let me know if you need someone to talk to about this...just remember...this is your is important that you be seen quickly so that you don't suffer anymore....please im begging you to could be something as serious as cancer...if you value your would sorry to put it that way my dear...but that is what my own mother told me when i didn't want to go and see what was wrong with my ovaries....hope to hear from you soon....

Those exams are scary &

Those exams are scary & uncomfortable if you can't calm your nerves - I hear ya!It must be painful for you to even walk. Try sitting on an ice pack off & on until you can get seen to. IT HELPS!
Is there a women's clinic near your area? Please know that even years after your abuse experiences a Rape Crisis Centre is there for you, not just for recently traumatised survivors of S/A. There, a Nurse, Nurse Practitioner or Dr will be easier to trust, and they're vetted to be supportive, to help you relax, & to take time & acknowledge your history. Some women with similar history find a womens' clinic is the best for comprehensive gyne care, no matter your age.
Alternatively, if you live near a college or uni the medical clinics on the campuses have clinicians who are usually more compassionate than a rushed GP & will care for on- & off-campus clients.
Is there a women's hospital near you with a walk in or emerg clinic attached? GO! They are not just for birthing babies! go tonight if you can.
Trust your gut - women who have been abused tend to not trust instincts, listen to your "red flags"! they're important. How did your Friday doctor react back when you told him about your trauma? if you felt acknowledged/understood & he was patient & kind - do you feel you can count on that same communication for this matter? Don't wait on this, it could be something quite easily remedied the sooner you have it attended to. As the others have said, please get care sooner rather than later. Not knowing is more than half the problem. Let us know, we're rooting for you! All the best ...

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