How would you deal with a mother like this - she is 87 and I am 58

How would you deal with a mother who is like this

My mom really needs to go to the following doctors:

(1) Dr. Kelly - her leg(s) are really killing her, but every time I tell her she should go see Dr. Kelly she says no. She is having trouble walking at times.

(2) A therapist to discuss her feelings. If mom asks me something and then I respond in more than yes or no she gets very upset. Last week she asked me if I saw the news item on Channel 7 about coffee and I said yes, then when she went back to her bedroom I went into her room five minutes later to tell her I read more of the study on line and she got mad at me because I didn't just answer just yes or no. We had a fight and she followed me into my room and began attacking me physically then she saw my house keys on top of my purse and took them and she refuses to give them back.

(3) KEEP IN MIND THAT EVERY WEEK I CLEAN THE ENTIRE APARTMENT: HOWEVER, Today she accused me of not helping her around the house when I saw her polishing the piano. She never told me when she was going to start polishing the house - last week she said next week but she never said what day we would start. Then during the course of the fight she said "Well when you wake up in the morning before you get dressed you could ask me if I need any help", this is crazy type of thinking. Every morning I have to get up and make my bed, and get dressed and then eat breakfast. Mom stays undressed all day long and only gets dressed when she is going out otherwise she is in her bathrobe and/or nightgown all day long. And tomorrow the maintenance guys are coming to fix things in the apartment and she wants to do more cleaning when they are here. And before we had the fight and before I saw her polishing the piano I saw her in the kitchen washing the sink. So I said to her "Are we cleaning today" and she said no that she was just going to do a few things then a half hour later I saw her polishing the piano then we had the fight.

(4) Her activity is cleaning, and food shopping and not just one food store but three in one day. She thinks by going to three different stores she can save money on the sales. Mom acts like we are in the boondocks and cannot get the food later on if we need it.

Her whole summer was doing nothing. I see all the senior citizens in our building who socialize with one another and she acts snotty around them - refuses to talk to them. Acts like she is better then them.

When I tell her she should make friends with them she tells me that all her friends are dead and she doesn't want to make any more.

You need to move out and live

You need to move out and live on your own.

I can't answer 1, 2, and 3. As for 4, maybe she can save money and what does it hurt?

If you polish the piano every

If you polish the piano every day, then your mother could never accuse of not doing it.

Here is a book that changed

Here is a book that changed my life. It would be beneficial if both you and your mother read it. If there are other family members and you can get them to read it, well, that would be even better!

"Healing The Hurting Soul" by Dr Louis Wynne I found it on Amazon. You can read some of the text before you buy.

When I was in my 30s and my father treated me like a little girl and was unappreciative of things I did for him~~~I wouldn't say a word, I would walk out the door!!
It took a number of times but he eventually caught on. And he quit. No need to scream and yell. Leave and let your mom twist in the wind for a while.
You are an adult. Your mother is trying to keep you in a place that she, not you, feels comfortable with.
Read the book, I guarantee it will help you.

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