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Hmm………I am trying to keep an

Hmm………I am trying to keep an open mind.

I take what your mom said at face value. I believe her when she said she would not give away your clothes. She has never given them away in the past, and she did have the courtesy to ask you first.

I am not sure why you are questioning her motives.

Your mother may not remember having asked the question earlier or maybe she is feeling backed into a corner with your questioning.

Is that what you are having trouble understanding, inconsistencies in your mom’s stories?

Based on your mom’s responses to your questions I think she really loves you.

Logically I know I should

Logically I know I should take what she said at face value, but then I get illogical and start reading into it. The reason I question her movtives is as follows: I have tons of clothes in my bedroom closet, in my dresser draws in my bedroom, in my white hope chest in my bedroom, then tons of clothes as well on my side of the den closet, and a small hope chest in the den. She doesnt go into my closet in my bedroom or on my side of the den closet or in my dresser draws or hope chest. My mom doesnt know what I have and even stated that.

But this is what I think: Lets say we had a 100 closets and she was able to see what I have would she ask me about my clothes. And in addition lets say I havent worn something for awhile or yet because I have tons would she ask me if I wanted to give it away. And I love every single clothing item I have and I would get angry if she thought I should give something away.

Yep I am having trouble understanding inconsistencies in her stories. But what inconsistencies do you see?

Why would you get angry if

Why would you get angry if your mother thought that you should give something away?

The other part I am having

The other part I am having trouble with is this: She claims that "I never tell you when you look good, and I never tell you when you look bad" means “Well if I tell you one day I like what you are wearing you retort why you don’t think I looked good yesterday”. I dont see how they mean the same thing - do you?

It is getting to the point that I hope one day we are out of one anothers lives for good.

"....but then I get illogical

"....but then I get illogical and start reading into it."

I think you hit the nail on the head.

You are presenting hypothetical situations.....Lets say we had a 100 closets....And in addition, let’s say I haven’t worn something for awhile…………You are getting upset with your mom over these scenarios which you have essentially made up. Puzzled

“And I love every single clothing item I have, and I would get angry if she thought I should give something away.”

In addition, you are getting angry over something your mom is thinking, and not only that, your mom denies thinking. Puzzled

For what it is worth:

Why the inconsistencies in your mom’s responses?

Just based on your original post it seems your mom is wavering in her response to your questions in order to pacify you. She sees you getting upset and is trying to avoid an argument.

She could also be forgetful now that she is older. She may have simply forgotten a discussion she had with you the day before or even five minutes before. (I had a mother-in-law with Alzheimer’s who withn a five minute period of time repeated the exact same story ten times. I listened each time as if it were the first…while crying on the inside.)

The other part I am having trouble with is this: She claims that "I never tell you when you look good, and I never tell you when you look bad" means “Well if I tell you one day I like what you are wearing you retort why you don’t think I looked good yesterday”. I don’t see how they mean the same thing - do you?

The way I take those comments: She never says one way or the other....whether you look good or bad....because if she does you are going to question her about it.

I am sorry lover454. That is how I see things. I could be completely off.

Honestly it doesn’t really matter what I think. The entire situation with your mom is obviously upsetting to you.

Do you have an opportunity to get out of the house every day?

(No subject)

Smiling

Would it be at all possible

Would it be at all possible for you to get a job, and perhaps move to your own apartment?

Or do you feel that your mother, at age 85, needs you to be with her, to look after her, and keep her company?

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