My meds were helping what is happening to me now

I have been on medications for major depression - 150 mg seroquel - 60 mg remeron, 40 mg celexa since July 2008 - and I thought they were helping me fine - but for the past six months - I have been struggling to function at work and at home -
I have no concentration, no mental focus, my memory is gone - I have been so mentally and physically exhausted - I am falling asleep at work, even though I get 8 hours of sleep, I exercise, have limited my caffeine.

For the past month- I have had diarrhea, headaches, stomach aches, body aches, my whole body hurts to put it simple - I have taken the next two weeks off to see if I just need a good rest. I have a dr. appt on April 13 - because I can no longer live like this. The pain is unbearable -

I don`t know what is going on - but I have had blood work done, my thryroid is ok -

I was seeing a psychologist up until November 2010 - when he passed away.

All the trauma that I have suffered in the past - being repeatedly raped, sexually, physically abused, all the visual images are coming at me in full force like a movie playing in my head - this is happening in my waking day and at night when I try to sleep. I am having nightmares and so many triggers - I am not able to watch tv anyone or read the newspapers as more triggers come at me. This is causing me extreme hell.

To top it off - my husband suffered a diabetic seizure one week ago, he was not responsive, I had to have him rushed to the hospital -
he is now better and home, but I am not well at all. All I can see is death in my eyes. The death of my parents that happened in 2008, and 2010 is hitting hard, the death of my psychologist is hitting me hard again, I have had so many friends pass away since 2008 an unbearable amount of people I have lost. And my mind is in a mourning phase I guess is the only thing I can call it.

I no longer have the strength and passion to want to do anything, fun things that I enjoyed doing, I feel what is the point since I am going to die anyways. I have lost my desire to live. And I don`t know what to do or get it back.

I am not in a good place at at all now, and even though my doctor is great, I am so embarrassed to tell him that I am not functioning again. He thinks I have made such great progress and I have, I just don`t know why I am back so depressed.

so any comments are most welcome
I am at a loss as to what to do anymore to make me snap out of this condition.

I am so sorry you have

I am so sorry you have experienced a woman's worst nightmare. Who is prescribing all your psych meds now, your PCP or another Psychiatrist? Can or were you able to get a Referral from your Psychiatrist's Office after he passed away?

Some people fall into small subsets who simply cannot tolerate nor take anti-depressants. I am one, although, I just got mad at everyone I came into contact with, although I didn't experience what you did. Talk to your Pharmacist. Tell him what you have written here. They can be your best friend as they take time that doctors don't. Have you been treated at a Rape Crisis Center? Please get help. What you experienced at the hands of someone else doesn't give them the right to have you face what you are facing now. I was diagnosed with a severe chronic, crippling pain syndrome 20 years ago after a foot Orthopedist screwed up my left foot, which triggered the disease I suffer from. I am on enough pain meds, muscle relaxants, and a list of other meds just to make function to some degree, and two months ago, I had to put down my little dog who was by constant buddy, except when I had to go to the doctor or store. My heart still breaks from having to put her down, but she passed away, very quickly in my arms as the Vet gave her the final shot to end her pain.

Taking your life is not the answer. I lost a friend to suicide because her husband left her for another woman. Her Mother and I tried to get her to move back to the State she left from when he got a good job offer in a different State, but she ultimately suffered two nervous breakdowns and twice before tried to take her life, but she timed it so her daughter would catch her before it became final. The third time, she tried the same thing on a Christmas Eve, but she and her 17 year old daughter got in a big fight and her daughter didn't come home that night as usual, but came home Christmas morning to find her Mother's dead body in her car, as she had taken a blanket and pillow, turned the engine on and left the windows down. It was a horrible experience for her daughter to find her Mother dead from Carbon Monoxide poisoning. Please get help, taking your life is not worth letting the person who raped you ultimately win. Be stronger than that. Best of luck to you.

http://www.partnersformh.ca/

I've heard dozens of people

I've heard dozens of people tell of being exactly where you are at now, "I am at a loss as to what to do anymore..." People, like myself, who have been healed of the trauma that refused to let us go, sometimes years after we thought we were over it. There's a very down to earth (but angelic!) lady named Joan Hunter who is coming to a little town near me in the huge province of Saskatchewan, Canada, all the way from Texas and I won't miss her for the world as she has helped so many to overcome the horrific trauma. I watched Mrs. Hunter on a video on YouTube done in early January (joanhunter.org) and realized that both myself and my daughter, an alcoholic, who had been making me crazy, making me hopeless enough to wish I was dead at times, were/are both suffering from what Joan calls the root of almost all medical (physical or mental/psychiatric)conditions: The Spirit of Trauma. I immediately noticed that you were ahead of the game as you named "trauma" in your post.

If you can suspend your reason (What good has it done you, anyway?) and your earthly logic and believe, like a little child, in things unseen and accept that taking authority over an (exterior) entity - an evil spirit, in the name of the Healer, Jesus of Nazareth, cursing and commanding it to leave you, telling it that you do know it (the spirit is not from God - if it's not good it's not from God) has no right to torment you anylonger (flashbacks) and you keep doing this EVERY TIME it tries to get it's foothold back into your head, believing and thanking Jesus for getting it off you) you will soon be off your meds that do not help - the only real help is from above - and well. God does not want you to suffer. He truly does love us - His errant, wayward children who refuse to listen - who always want to complicate things. Watch & listen to Joan - she can heal every area of your life. God bless and keep you. I pray for your release from this terrible depression and do know if you will only make up your mind to believe, no matter what your reasoning mind tells you, you will be healed. And for your husband and the lady whose little dog just died - I have 3 dogs and 8 cats - I understand her grief but from all accounts Heaven is full of pets! Plus two little boys that I'm praying their mother will soon be in shape to mother again - remember: When we pray for others it is then our own prayers are answered. All the best.

I believe that Jesus works

I believe that Jesus works WITH good doctors.

If a good doctor has prescribed medication for you, then it is best to discuss withdrawing medication BEFORE making any changes.

Meditation is a good form of therapy, and prayer, such as the Rosary, is another form of meditation.

first of all tell your

first of all tell your doctor. do not feel embarrassed to tell your doc. if you feel that way dont have a doc at all. you MUST start helping your self before they can help you. make sure you tell the doc about all the meds you take. they may have built up in you but am no doc so see one.

Your story concerns me.

Your story concerns me. First of all, honesty is the best medicine. You have to be honest with your doctor and if you have problems doing this verbally, give the doctor what you just wrote and shared with us. If you are not comfortable talking to your doctor then perhaps you need to find one that makes you feel comfortable. Do not go off any medication without the doctor. There are serious effects to doing this and they must be weaned off. Also, if I read correctly, you are on several medications which may be interacting with each other. Some medications work better with a certain diet addition (one anti-seizure/depression medication works better with the addition of vitamin B12). Do research on the side effects of each medication. Make a note of each side effect you are experiencing and discuss this with your doctor. Also, check on natural remedies that may help with your condition and discuss with your doctor. Be very prepared for your next doctors appointment with all this information in hand (or send it to the doctor prior to your appointment so he will have answers). Activity and exercise can help with depression. Hormone levels can affect depression. Certain diets can help (such as a ketogenic diet for those with seizures). Decide this is a battle that you are going to win and do not let your past demons defeat you. Your family is looking down at you from Heaven and wanting to see you happy. Sending prayers your way.

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