My meds were helping what is happening to me now
I have been on medications for major depression - 150 mg seroquel - 60 mg remeron, 40 mg celexa since July 2008 - and I thought they were helping me fine - but for the past six months - I have been struggling to function at work and at home -
I have no concentration, no mental focus, my memory is gone - I have been so mentally and physically exhausted - I am falling asleep at work, even though I get 8 hours of sleep, I exercise, have limited my caffeine.
For the past month- I have had diarrhea, headaches, stomach aches, body aches, my whole body hurts to put it simple - I have taken the next two weeks off to see if I just need a good rest. I have a dr. appt on April 13 - because I can no longer live like this. The pain is unbearable -
I don`t know what is going on - but I have had blood work done, my thryroid is ok -
I was seeing a psychologist up until November 2010 - when he passed away.
All the trauma that I have suffered in the past - being repeatedly raped, sexually, physically abused, all the visual images are coming at me in full force like a movie playing in my head - this is happening in my waking day and at night when I try to sleep. I am having nightmares and so many triggers - I am not able to watch tv anyone or read the newspapers as more triggers come at me. This is causing me extreme hell.
To top it off - my husband suffered a diabetic seizure one week ago, he was not responsive, I had to have him rushed to the hospital -
he is now better and home, but I am not well at all. All I can see is death in my eyes. The death of my parents that happened in 2008, and 2010 is hitting hard, the death of my psychologist is hitting me hard again, I have had so many friends pass away since 2008 an unbearable amount of people I have lost. And my mind is in a mourning phase I guess is the only thing I can call it.
I no longer have the strength and passion to want to do anything, fun things that I enjoyed doing, I feel what is the point since I am going to die anyways. I have lost my desire to live. And I don`t know what to do or get it back.
I am not in a good place at at all now, and even though my doctor is great, I am so embarrassed to tell him that I am not functioning again. He thinks I have made such great progress and I have, I just don`t know why I am back so depressed.
so any comments are most welcome
I am at a loss as to what to do anymore to make me snap out of this condition.