New Humor

A Somalian arrives in

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States .

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,

"Thank you, Mr. American, for letting me in this country, giving me housing,

food stamps, free medical care and free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby.

"Thank you for having such a beautiful

country here in America !"

The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he

stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America !"

That person puts up his hand and says,

"I am from Middle East , I am not American!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an

American?"

She says, "No, I am from Africa !"

Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the

Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says...

"Probably at work."

A woman went to her doctor.

A woman went to her doctor.

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You
have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter was waiting.
'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate
when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well, I have
cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There
were some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were
curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they
were drinking to her impending end. 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences. After the
friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I
thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends
you were dying of AIDS.' The woman said, 'I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

Now that's 'Putting Your Affairs In Order'

What a great idea. I'm

What a great idea. I'm going to start spreading the word right away...................pam

(No subject)

(No subject)

(No subject)

(No subject)

Twain wrote: Don't

Twain wrote:


Don't remember if I've posted this one.
Flight of the Conchords: Business Time

True Story of A Speeding

True Story of A Speeding Ticket

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar . One of the officers was using a hand held radar device
to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.

The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.

Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander The reply came back in true USMC style:

Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident.

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet
had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your
hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal
back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft
had also automatically locked on to your equipment location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation
for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status
and was able to override the automated defense system before the
missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.

The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them,
since the video systems on these jets are very high tech.
Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his
dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose.
Also, the snap is broken on his holster.

Thank you for your concern.

Semper Fi

Twain wrote: Makes me

Twain wrote:

Makes me thankful that I can't eat the doughnuts!!! Shocked I would of thought they would of had pics of the police officers though! Smiling

Here ya go Product:

Here ya go Product:

Walmart

heartthrob wrote: Walmart

heartthrob wrote:

Walmart Baby:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC1sowVN0xY

I LOVE those clips!!! ha

Twain,while your making fun

Twain,while your making fun of fat ladies,go ahead and find a calendar of some anexorics,and lets laugh at them too!! Well I wont laugh,but maybe others will. It's not a laughing matter to me. I will say some women are proud of their fat,I'm not one of them though,but my oldest sis is. She said fat is where its at,I can't tell. It's just sad to me. I think its great,that my sis can feel proud of herself,I don't know how she does it?? I still love her,no matter how big or little they are. My oldest is probably a size 50 and my youngest is a size 5. She was a size 1,she put weight back on. Shocked

LOL. Oops. This was passed

LOL. Oops. This was passed along from from someone at the University of CO. They accidentally left their name and number. I kindly removed it Smiling Here is their joke.
__________
TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.

In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 Million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!"

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

I wonder if it's too late to

I wonder if it's too late to start investing at my age.

EXERCISES FOR PEOPLE OVER

EXERCISES FOR PEOPLE OVER 40

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb. potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks. Sticking out tongue

K Twain. If we are going to

K Twain. If we are going to get *sexist*. LOL. This is NOT for men. Evil Sticking out tongue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=852fJBCuMEg

Naly wrote: K Twain. If

Naly wrote:

K Twain. If we are going to get *sexist*. LOL. This is NOT for men. Evil Sticking out tongue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=852fJBCuMEg

Hi Naly...If you are trying to do a google video, you need to put the long string of numbers in between your [gvideo] [/gvideo]
If you look at the google video address, it will have something like docid= or v= and then the long string of numbers. Whatever comes after the '=' character, you copy and paste in between your tags. Hope that was understandable. Smiling

Naly wrote: K Twain. If

Naly wrote:

K Twain. If we are going to get *sexist*. LOL. This is NOT for men. Evil Sticking out tongue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=852fJBCuMEg

KEYute! Eye-wink
The only thing is, I keep on clicking after!!! lol

Dr Kavorkian is running for

Dr Kavorkian is running for Congress in Michigan, "FINALLY, a politician with an exit strategy!"

cheers

THE LAWS OF LIFE & Law of

THE LAWS OF LIFE

& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

& Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped,
will roll or slide to the least accessible location.

& Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

& Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

& Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

& Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now
(works every time).

& Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

& Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

& Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

& Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your ability to reach and scratch it.

& Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will arrive last.

& Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

& Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

& Law of Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

& Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.

& Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

& Brown's Law
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

& Oliver's Law
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

& Wilson 's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
(this one is true every time!)

& Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to see a doctor, and by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll remain sick.

abusedemotionally

abusedemotionally wrote:

...
& Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to see a doctor, and by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll remain sick.

Every time! lol
High AE!! Oh...ha ha...I mean HI!!!

consider a lottery

consider a lottery ticket.
be well - love all - jim

Naly wrote: K Twain. If

Naly wrote:

K Twain. If we are going to get *sexist*. LOL. This is NOT for men. Evil Sticking out tongue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=852fJBCuMEg

Reminds me of a guy I bike with. Most people I know keep their food in the back pockets of their cycling jersey. He keeps a banana in the front of his shorts. He says it attracts the girls.

Msdoodle

Msdoodle wrote:

Twain,while your making fun of fat ladies,go ahead and find a calendar of some anexorics,and lets laugh at them too!!........

Doodle, these women are also proud of their bodies. The point of the calendar is: if you want a body like this, then eat Krispy Kreme donuts.

You know life is so unfair.

You know life is so unfair. I went to the gym today. Felt great afterwards. Why the heck can't I feel great after Krispy Kremes or Hot Cross Buns. I hope I make it to heaven.

wisheronstars wrote: You

wisheronstars wrote:

You know life is so unfair. I went to the gym today. Felt great afterwards. Why the heck can't I feel great after Krispy Kremes or Hot Cross Buns. I hope I make it to heaven.

That wont keep you out of heaven Wisher. But I can tell you I do feel guilty and full if I eat more than once a day. Sad Plus I'm not hungry,why eat if I'm not hungry?? It's a waste.Well,I think. I havent always been this way either. I do agree life is unfair,and I don't know why.Oh well push on, huge hugs. Smiling

Twain wrote: then eat

Twain wrote:

then eat Krispy Kreme donuts.

I don't want any krispy kreme donuts, the cops can have ALL of them. Smiling

Twain wrote: ... Reminds

Twain wrote:

...
Reminds me of a guy I bike with. Most people I know keep their food in the back pockets of their cycling jersey. He keeps a banana in the front of his shorts. He says it attracts the girls.

Biking huh?.... Might be worth trying...

Too funny Pam,(the cartoon)

Too funny Pam,(the cartoon) I hope you had a nice Easter. Smiling

http://www.jibjab.com/view/23

AND THEY WALK AMONG US

AND THEY WALK AMONG US EVERYWHERE!!!! LORD HELP US!

Samsung Electronics:
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services:
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
---------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Inquiries:
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller:'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland .'
------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone booth told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'
-------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
-----------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
-----------------------------------------------------------
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'
-----------------------------------------------------------
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect
organization for 'Termination without Cause.'
WordPerfect Customer Support:
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Nevermind, can you move your cursor around the scree?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power ..... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer

Oops.

Oops.

For the record, I just want

For the record, I just want to say that was not me on the phone asking for help....

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton go to

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton go to Wallmart:

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.

Here's a letter sent to her from the store.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. and watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme .

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" And last, but not least ...

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

COWBOY WHISPERER Cowboy:

COWBOY WHISPERER

Cowboy: 'That your dog?'
Indian : 'Yep.'
Cowboy: 'Mind if I speak to him?'
Indian: 'Dog no talk.'
Cowboy: 'Hey dog, how's it going?'
Dog: 'Doin' all right.'
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: 'Is this Indian your owner?'
Dog: 'Yep.'
Cowboy: 'How's he treating you?'
Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food & takes me to the lake once a week to play.'
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
Indian: 'Horse no talk.'
Cowboy: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Cool.'
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: 'Is this your owner?'
Horse: 'Yep.'
Cowboy: 'How's he treating you?'
Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often & keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather.'
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
Indian: 'Sheep Lie.'

ENGINEERING....WOMEN'S

ENGINEERING....WOMEN'S WORK!

Bubba and Ray were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down.
Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"

Bubba and Ray are currently doing government work, supervising in Ottawa .

cheers

LOL. Bet Product knows you

LOL. Bet Product knows you can get that measurement with the help from a shadow Smiling

wisheronstars wrote: I

wisheronstars wrote:

I wonder if it's too late to start investing at my age.

Don't all things start with wishes? ideas? LOL That was a good one Wisher Smiling

Daenerys wrote: Naly

Daenerys wrote:
Naly wrote:

K Twain. If we are going to get *sexist*. LOL. This is NOT for men. Evil Sticking out tongue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=852fJBCuMEg

KEYute! Eye-wink
The only thing is, I keep on clicking after!!! lol

I keep clicking "replay" .......can computers run out of gas?

A man moves into a nudist

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top part.

Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.

He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother.

It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...... it makes your nose look too short!"

5 Good Reasons not to be a

5 Good Reasons not to be a Penis!

1. You're bald your entire life.
2. You have a hole in your head.
3. You live between two nuts.
4. An **** lives behind you.
5. When you get excited, you throw up and then you faint.

Bob, a handsome dude, walked

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up a the TV. The 10 PM news was coming on, and the news crew was covering a story of a man preparing to jump from a ledge of a large building.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, 'Do you think he'll jump?'

Bob said, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.'

The blonde said, 'Well, I bet he won't.'

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, 'You're on!'

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob saying, 'Fair's fair. Here's your money.'

Bob said, 'I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news and so I knew he would jump.'

The blonde commented, 'I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again.'

Bob took the money.

----------------------------

My wife just decided that she's not going to be a blonde anymore.

C'mon Twain - No time for

C'mon Twain - No time for jokes. Get over and help Daenerys! I'm a little high strung.

wisheronstars wrote: C'mon

wisheronstars wrote:

C'mon Twain - No time for jokes. Get over and help Daenerys! I'm a little high strung.

HUH???? This is a funny thread. Daerneys has a sense of humor.

I've been all colors. Still experimenting. LOL. It's FUN!!!!!

wisheronstars wrote: C'mon

wisheronstars wrote:

C'mon Twain - No time for jokes. Get over and help Daenerys! I'm a little high strung.

Thanks for the heads-up, Wisher.

Twain

Twain wrote:
wisheronstars wrote:

C'mon Twain - No time for jokes. Get over and help Daenerys! I'm a little high strung.

Thanks for the heads-up, Wisher.

Smiling

Naly wrote: LOL. Bet

Naly wrote:

LOL. Bet Product knows you can get that measurement with the help from a shadow Smiling

Good answer Naly. This is the best way to measure it...

This is a trigonometry problem, and while most people encounter
trigonometry in the context of right triangles, we can also apply it
to general triangles as well:

F. FOA is a right triangle.
| . . The point O is not accessible.
| . . Thus we want to compute the height OF.
| . . So we will measure the distance BA and the
| . . angles of elevation OBF and OAF.
| . .
X-O-X--------B-------A

The triangle of interest is the one seen as FAB. We have measured two angles of this
triangle: angle A (measured elevation from A), angle B (equal to 180
deg - elevation from B), and angle F (180 deg - A - B).

If you use the Law of Sines, we can then say

dist(BA) dist(FA)
------- = ------- this allows you to calculate the
sin(F) sin(B) distance FA.

You can then apply trigonometry to the right triangle FOA:

dist(FO) = dist(FA)*sin(A),

where our final answer is expressed in terms of quantities that we
have either measured directly or have ccalculated from our measurements.
So, you could carry out the angle measurements either by using a sighting
instrument (such as a straw taped to a protractor with a weight
suspended from the origin), or by marking the location of the flagpole
shadow at the precise time that you would measures the length of a shadow of
some shorter object such as a yardstick. The shorter object gives us
information about the slope of the sun's rays via the arctangent. Eye-wink Smiling
Another aapproach would be to take the given FOA and input these dementions into a program such as Inventor or Auto-Cad in which it will do the calculations for you and actually show a physical diagram of the flag pole!

P R O D U C T , you're way,

P R O D U C T , you're way, way, way on the wrong thread.

I had to scroll back to the top of this page..........I knew it was the one that said HUMOR.........Now I'm sick.

Just sick.............My head hurts Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf!

Subject: LIFE EXPLAINED On

Subject: LIFE EXPLAINED

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you. Sticking out tongue

There are some very funny

There are some very funny cartoons on the New Yorker Magazine, but it won't let me copy them........they're copyrighted.

http://www.thenewyorkerstore.com/search_results_category.asp?sitetype=1&section=cartoons&keyword=Medical&advanced=0&x=10&y=10

This is TOOOOOOOO funny. Go

This is TOOOOOOOO funny. Go to this site and then scroll down to Church Compilation.wmv

http://video.themezz.com/

Twain: I have put the Krispy

Twain:

I have put the Krispy Kreme 2001 calendar on my refrigerator door. Thankfully, Tim Horton's, THE doughnut store in Canada, makes all its doughnuts without a trace of fat or sugar, as required by Health Canada. Health Canada now ranks Tim Horton doughnuts as a food group, allowing millions of Canadians who start off their day with a double double and a doughnut from Timmy's, to breathe easier. Eye-wink

I thought you would want to

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.
It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1970.
Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. Done that!
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail! That too!
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. Yep!
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. Who me?
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. Well fooey!
6. Causes you to hit 'SEND' before you've finished. Oh no - not again!
7. Causes you to hit 'DELETE' instead of 'SEND.' and I just hate that!
8. Causes you to hit 'SEND' when you should 'DELETE.' Oh No!

IT IS CALLED THE 'C-NILE VIRUS.' Sticking out tongue

ShelleyS wrote: Twain: I

ShelleyS wrote:

Twain:

I have put the Krispy Kreme 2001 calendar on my refrigerator door. Thankfully, Tim Horton's, THE doughnut store in Canada, makes all its doughnuts without a trace of fat or sugar, as required by Health Canada. Health Canada now ranks Tim Horton doughnuts as a food group, allowing millions of Canadians who start off their day with a double double and a doughnut from Timmy's, to breathe easier. Eye-wink

Wow Shelley,you mean they are actually healthy?? I surely couldn't have any healthy or not. Do you remember on another thread I said there will always be some kind of Randall here. Do you believe me now?? I know this has nothing to do with the calendar,but I had to wait for you to respond somewhere so I could ask you. Laughing out loud

http://www.twango.com/media/a

heartthrob wrote: P R O D

heartthrob wrote:

P R O D U C T , you're way, way, way on the wrong thread.

I had to scroll back to the top of this page..........I knew it was the one that said HUMOR.........Now I'm sick.

Just sick.............My head hurts Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf!

That was humor!! Well, let's try again....

The sense of freshness...

A new supermarket opened in Topeka , Ks. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

And again! Thank God for

And again!

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (2007 Release).

----------------------------------------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
-------------------- ------ --------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall.
Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
----------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
----------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
----------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
"Break Forth Into Joy."
---------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
-------------------------------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow..
------------------------------------------------ ---------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
----------------------------------- ------ -----------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
----------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
---------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".

An Irish woman of advanced

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra? asked the Doctor.

"Not a chance", she said, "He won't even take an aspirin"

"Not a problem", replied the Doctor, "Give him an "Irish Viagra". It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went"

It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, Doctor!"

"Really, what happened?" asked the doctor

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"

"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?

"Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"

Three men - a Canadian

Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a KENTUCKY GENTLEMAN are all working together one day.

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
'I will give each o f you one wish, which is three wishes in total',
says the Genie.

The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada .'

POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.

Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.'

POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The Kentuckian says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'

The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the co untry. Nothing can get in or out;
it's virtually impenetrable.'

The Kentuckian sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lites a cigar,
smiles and says,

'Fill it with water.'

On their way to get married,

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple are involved in a
fatal car accident.

The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St.
Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder:
Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they
asked him.

St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let
me go find out", and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed; and the couple is
still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to
get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all.

"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"

After yet another month, St . Peter finally returns, looking somewhat
bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't
work out? Could we
also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a priest
up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it would take me to find a LAWYER?"

The Archbishop of Canterbury

The Archbishop of Canterbury has finally got his way.

British weather has been declared Muslim …

It's partly Sunni but mostly Shi'ite.

THE BOTTLE OF WINE For all

THE BOTTLE OF WINE

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walki ng on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every littl e detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. 'What in bag?' asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.' The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
'Good trade.' Sticking out tongue

(No subject)

Fast Treatment A woman went

Fast Treatment

A woman went to the doctors office, where she was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and told her to go relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

A man travelling by plane

A man travelling by plane was in urgent need of the toilet. But each time he looked up, the illuminated sign proclaimed that it was occupied.
The stewardess, aware of his predicament, suggested that he uses the airplane's new prototype women's loo. But he must not press any of the buttons inside. The were labelled WW,WA,PP, and ATR.

The man's curiousity got the best of him and he started pressing the buttons one by one.

When he pressed WW, Warm, fragrant Water was sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, wow, the women really have it made.

Still curious, he pressed the button marked WA, and a gentle breeze of Warm Air quickly dried his hindquarters. He thought this was fantastic and reached for the button marked PP.

This yielded a large Powder Puff that delicately applied a soft talc to his rear. Naturally, he couldn't resist the last button marked ATR.

When he woke up in the hospital, he buzzed for the nurse. "What happened to me? The last thing I remember is that I was in the new ladies' room on a plane."

"Yes," replied the nurse, "apparently you were having a great time until you pressed the ATR button, which stands for AUTOMATIC TAMPON REMOVER. Your penis is under your pillow."

Dear Dr. Dover: I wish to

Dear Dr. Dover:

I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous. After being married for seven years and having had 7 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless.

After getting married I was advised to use the rhythm method. Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-Cha. Apart from that, where do you find a band when you get the urge at two o'clock in the morning?

A doctor suggested the safe period. At the time, we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait 3 weeks for the safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work, and the wife got pregnant.

A lady of several years' experience said if we made love while breast feeding we would be all right. Well, I finished up with clear skin, Silky Hair and was very healthy, but the wife got pregnant yet again.

Another tale we heard was if the wife jumped up and down after intercourse this would prevent pregnancy. She slipped a disk but still got pregnant again.

I asked the chemist about the condoms and he demonstrated them, so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which did not surprise me as I never did believe how stretching one of those things over your thumb could prevent babies.

We tried the coil next but that didn't work. It had a left-hand screw and my wife is definitely a right-hand screw.

The Dutch cap was next and seemed to be our answer, but my wife got severe headaches when the only size available was too tight across the forehead.

Eventually we tried the Pill, but it kept dropping out, so she tried it between her knees and I couldn't get anywhere near her.

You must appreciate my problems. If I can't have the operation I will have to resort to oral sex, and I can't believe that talking about it is any substitute for the real thing.

Yours sincerely,

The dentist was striving to

The dentist was striving to extract a tooth, but every time he got ready to proceed, the patient clamped his jaws. At last, he took his assistant aside and told her at the very moment he poised the forceps, to give the patient's balls a vicious pinch.

The pinch was administered, the nervous patient's mouth flew open, and the tooth was easily removed.

"Didn't hurt, did it?" asked the dentist.

"Not too much," replied the patient, "but who would have thought the root went that deep?!"

A 60-year-old man went to a

A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35-year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"

The 60-year-old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"

The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"

The 60-year-old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."

The doctor couldn't believe it. So, he asked, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"

The 60-year-old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"

The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"

The 60-year-old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."

The doctor said, "At 106-years, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"

His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Did I say he wanted to?"

Oh, that was a great one AE

Oh, that was a great one AE

A noted psychiatrist was a

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

I went to the casino a while

I went to the casino a while back with my daughter. We played blackjack, and we weren't doing well; she was getting a litte upset I could see. I said let's go to the ladies room. When washing our hands, my daughter went red in the face, laughing hysterically; she couldn't stop..."Did you do that on purpose???", she finally managed to say....
Then, I realized that I had a long tail of toilet paper...Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

wisheronstars wrote: I

wisheronstars wrote:

I went to the casino a while back with my daughter. We played blackjack, and we weren't doing well; she was getting a litte upset I could see. I said let's go to the ladies room. When washing our hands, my daughter went red in the face, laughing hysterically; she couldn't stop..."Did you do that on purpose???", she finally managed to say....
Then, I realized that I had a long tail of toilet paper...Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

If it had been one of my kids, they probably would have let me go out of the washroom with the toilet paper hanging!! Shocked Evil Laughing out loud

Well now, you see it's like

Well now, you see it's like this....

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the rear that are killed. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because only the fittest survive thus improving the general health and speed of the entire herd.

In much the same way the human brain only operates as quickly as the slowest of it's brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells, as we all know, and naturally the alcohol attacks the slowest/weakest cells first....

So it is as plain as the nose on your face that regular consumption of Guinness will eliminate the weaker, slower brain cells thus leaving the remaining cells the best in the brain.

The end result, of course, is a faster more efficient brain.

If you doubt this at all, tell me, isn't it true that we always feel a bit smarter after a few pints?

SEE DICK RUN - Not exactly

SEE DICK RUN - Not exactly the way I remember it, but.......

heartthrob wrote: SEE DICK

heartthrob wrote:

SEE DICK RUN - Not exactly the way I remember it, but.......

LOL . . . me either!! Sticking out tongue

Any Head Shrinkers out

Any Head Shrinkers out there? My Wife needs help ...

Dan Walter wrote: Any Head

Dan Walter wrote:

Any Head Shrinkers out there? My Wife needs help ...

ROLOL!!! You people!!!

Husband says: When I

Husband says:
When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Wife says:
I clean the toilet...

Husband says:
How does that help?

Wife says:
I use your toothbrush....

Here's an old one . . . but

Here's an old one . . . but one of my favorites!

Great Directions here for a real clean toilet!!! easy too!!!!

1. Lift both lids on your toilet bowl and add a couple of capfuls of shampoo to the water.

2. Go to the other room where the cat is sleeping, pick it up and soothe it while you carry it towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (You may need to stand on the lid, afterwards). The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
(Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.)

4. Flush the toilet three or four times.
(This provides a "power-wash" and "rinse")

5. Have someone open the closest door to the outside (Be sure that no one is between the toilet and the outside door.)

6. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

7. The cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where it will dry itself. After this procedure, both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean!

Sincerely,
The Dog

As a b-utcher is shooing a

As a b-utcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."

Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The b-utcher follows, dumbstruck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.

The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and yells at the the dog.

The b-utcher runs up screams at the guy: "What in the world are you doing? This dog's a genius!"

The owner responds, "Genius? I don't think so. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"

(Edit: The word b-utcher is censored on this site. Why??? Puzzled Puzzled )

It must be censored because

It must be censored because some patients might say that their surgeon was a b-utcher, treated them like a piece of meat. That would be libel. I think it's to protect the doctors and us; I'm just guessing.

Fuzzy Wuzzy Fuzzy Wuzzy was

Fuzzy Wuzzy

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?
Was he bare? Sticking out tongue

Red Neck Humor. I can't

Red Neck Humor. I can't believe I'm posting this. I have a friend who is mentally challenged. Sticking out tongue

http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=nz82fjXqFQ4

Naly wrote: Red Neck

Naly wrote:

Red Neck Humor. I can't believe I'm posting this. I have a friend who is mentally challenged. Sticking out tongue

http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=nz82fjXqFQ4

I need a new deck. It's falling apart. I don't think it's going to last through the summer. I hope my husband has time to fix it, or maybe he can get a new one up. I don't know; I just can't do without a deck this summer.

wisheronstars wrote: Naly

wisheronstars wrote:
Naly wrote:

Red Neck Humor. I can't believe I'm posting this. I have a friend who is mentally challenged. Sticking out tongue

http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=nz82fjXqFQ4

I need a new deck. It's falling apart. I don't think it's going to last through the summer. I hope my husband has time to fix it, or maybe he can get a new one up. I don't know; I just can't do without a deck this summer.

. . . do you want a "big" deck, or a "small" deck . . . Cool Puzzled Evil

I'm not sure...I wonder what

I'm not sure...I wonder what the mayor's deck is like? Laughing out loud

(No subject)

Smiling

(No subject)

I planted some bird seed. A

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
~~~
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
~~~
I went to San Francisco . I found someone's heart. Now what?
~~~
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
~~~
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
~~~
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
~~~
Someone told me I was gullible and I believed them.
~~~
Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
~~~
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
~~~
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
~~~
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
~~~
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
~~~
The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
~~~
How can there be self-help "groups"?
~~~
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
~~~
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
~~~
Is it just me--or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?

A Real Bicyclist! A man

A Real Bicyclist!

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10 speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther.

He stuck his thumb out but after 3 hours, hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going to fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down.

Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had 2 Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "and your not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10 speed bike honking to pass".

"It's just a cold," the

"It's just a cold," the doctor said. "There is no cure, and you'll just have to live with it until it goes away."

"But Doctor," the patient whined, "it's making me so miserable."

The doctor rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. Then he said, "Look, go home and take a hot bath. Then put a bathing suit on and run around the block three or four times."

"What!" the patient exclaimed. "I'll get pneumonia!"

"We have a cure for pneumonia," the doctor said.

abusedemotionally wrote: A

abusedemotionally wrote:

A Real Bicyclist!

Twain

Twain wrote:
abusedemotionally wrote:

A Real Bicyclist!

HA, HA, HA . . . Yep . . . that's a real bicylist, alright! Smiling Sticking out tongue

P.S. . . . Did you scan that photo so that you could share "your" picture with us? Evil Sticking out tongue

abusedemotionally wrote:

abusedemotionally wrote:

P.S. . . . Did you scan that photo so that you could share "your" picture with us? Evil Sticking out tongue

I don't own a mountain bike. Only a road bike.

Do you realize that the only

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get older is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" (You could be 13, but hey, you're 'gonna' be 16!) And then the greatest day of your life...you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony... YOU BECOME 21.YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30...Ooooh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling.

What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away! Before you know it, you REACH 50...and your dreams are gone. So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE IT TO 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!

After that it's a day-by-day thing: you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle: you HIT lunch, you TURN 4:30: you REACH bedtime. My grandmother won't even buy green bananas! It's an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one!! And it doesn't end there.

Into the 90's you start going backwards, "I was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it (healthily) to 100 and a half!!

Essence of Life

Essence of Life

    Money is not everything, there's Mastercard & Visa.

    One should love animals, they are so tasty.

    Save water, shower with your friend.

    Love thy neighbor, but don't get caught.

    Behind every successful man, there is a woman and behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

    Every man should marry, after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

    The wise never marry, when they marry they become other ”wise”.

    Success is a relative term, it brings so many relatives

    Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

family, including a boy and

family, including a boy and his father, was from a warring, strife-ridden and very poor third world country. The family was relocated to the US as a result of a humanitarian relocation program. The family was encountering its first trip to a large, very modern shopping mall. The family was amazed. The boy and his father standing in front of a column in the center of the mall that included an elevator. The boy and his father were amazed by almost everything they saw in the mall, but especially by the elevator doors - two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

The boy asked his father "What is this Father?".

The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an elderly lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button, which then started shining with light. The walls opened and the lady rolled in between them into a small room. The walls closed and the woman disappeared.

The boy and his father continued to watch as small circles of lights above the moving walls would light up. The circles stopped lighting and then they started to light up in the reverse direction.

The walls suddenly opened up again. A beautiful and voluptuous young woman stepped out of the small room.

The father leaned down to his son, "Go get your mother."

A hangover is the wrath of

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
The Dark Ages were caused by the Y1K problem.
If your voting could really change things, Congress would make it illegal.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Here I am!!! What are your other two wishes?
Half The People In The World Are Below Average
Time is fun when you're having flies.
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Toilet stolen from Police Station. Cops have nothing to go on.
If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven't met everybody.
All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat though.
Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.
Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.
Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.
Remember: First you pillage then you burn.
To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
Failure Is Not An Option. It's bundled with your software.
Honk If You Love Peace and Quiet
Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires.

Twain

Twain wrote:
abusedemotionally wrote:

P.S. . . . Did you scan that photo so that you could share "your" picture with us? Evil Sticking out tongue

I don't own a mountain bike. Only a road bike.

So whose bike did you borrow?

There are several men in the

There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up:

    "Hello?
    'Honey, It's me. Are you at the club?"
    "Yes,
    'Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat... It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
    "What's the price?"
    "Only $1,500.00"
    "Well, OK, go ahead and get it if you like it that much..
    "Umm, I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2008 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year I thought..."
    "What price did he quote you?"
    "Only $70,000..."
    "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
    "Great! Before we hang up, something else..."
    "What?"
    "It might look like a lot, but was reconciling your bank account and... I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year ... it's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..."
    "How much are they asking?"
    "Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
    "Well, then, go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. Don't go over. OK?
    "OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
    "Bye... I do too..."

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks all those present:

"Does anyone know who this cell phone belongs to?"

A man was taking it easy,

A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.

"God", he said, "how long is a million years?"
God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God answered, "To me, it's a penny."
The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"
God answered, "In a minute."

abusedemotionally

abusedemotionally wrote:
Twain wrote:
abusedemotionally wrote:

A Real Bicyclist!

HA, HA, HA . . . Yep . . . that's a real bicylist, alright! Smiling Sticking out tongue

P.S. . . . Did you scan that photo so that you could share "your" picture with us? Evil Sticking out tongue

Is that a picture of Dr. Keith and his wife? Eye-wink

(No subject)

Smiling

(No subject)

Eye-wink

wisheronstars

wisheronstars wrote:
abusedemotionally wrote:
Twain wrote:
abusedemotionally wrote:

A Real Bicyclist!

HA, HA, HA . . . Yep . . . that's a real bicylist, alright! Smiling Sticking out tongue

P.S. . . . Did you scan that photo so that you could share "your" picture with us? Evil Sticking out tongue

Is that a picture of Dr. Keith and his wife? Eye-wink

ROLOL. That can't possibly be Dr. Keith and his wife. This lady has something to lay on. Sticking out tongue

I had a good laugh

I had a good laugh

OMG....this is so funny.

OMG....this is so funny. It's about 30 seconds:
http://www.break.com/index/tazer-rigged-to-chair.html

This is better than

This is better than humor,well for me.. Laughing out loud http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ8xFnSYPy4 Ahhh yes,the universal language. Smiling

Msdoodle wrote: This is

Msdoodle wrote:

This is better than humor,well for me.. Laughing out loud http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ8xFnSYPy4 Ahhh yes,the universal language. Smiling

O.K. Now - I was watching this, vegging while listening to it, and my mind wandered...
I started to think - what if I did somehow, go back to staff nursing - what if - a certain doctor broke his neck - what if - I had to catheterize him - would I use lidocaine jelly? Would I think of it? No...I started thinking. He'd probably spasm...The catheter probably wouldn't go in with the spasm...Would I use best practice, and do the job properly...I'm not sure...I might just force the catheter in, I might just see saw it back and forth...

No, I wouldn't...
Really, I never would. I would give him the care that he needs. Not that I wouldn't think of doing the above. I'm not perfect. I'm only human.

Try a mountain trail stroll

Try a mountain trail stroll in China .
First - Let's take the cable car up to the start of the trail.

Now follow the path.

Be sure to hold on to the railing.

Keep an eye on the person in front of you.

Be very careful when passing someone going in the opposite direction.

Now just up a few steps. (They are on the left in the picture)

Gets a little steeper here - so put your toes in the holes.

A few more steps to go.

Finally in sight, the Teahouse!
The view's great, BUT - Would you dare try it??
How'd they get that building material up there?

Beautiful Random!! Thank you

Beautiful Random!! Thank you for sharing. Smiling Here just tell them this: Laughing out loud http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inWLd_9TlqY

RandomThoughts

RandomThoughts wrote:

How'd they get that building material up there?

I saw these pictures before and that's exactly the question that went through my mind!! Puzzled Puzzled

I don't think I'll be visiting that teahouse . . .
Cool

RandomThoughts wrote: Try

RandomThoughts wrote:

Try a mountain trail stroll in China .

Finally in sight, the Teahouse!
The view's great, BUT - Would you dare try it??
How'd they get that building material up there?

Holy crap! Shocked That's craziness!!!! Is that you and your wife???!
I went to a neurologist today who was into rock climbing. He had pictures all over the place.

erm....sorry, I just assumed they were your pics. lol

I want to go ziplining on

I want to go ziplining on that cable in China!

wisheronstars wrote: I

wisheronstars wrote:

I want to go ziplining on that cable in China!

They have great ziplining in Costa Rica and the Honduras...so I'm told. Smiling

wisheronstars

wisheronstars][quote=Msdoodle wrote:

....would I use lidocaine jelly? Would I think of it? No...I started thinking. He'd probably spasm...The catheter probably wouldn't go in with the spasm...Would I use best practice, and do the job properly...I'm not sure...I might just force the catheter in, I might just see saw it back and forth..

LOL, our ER RNs have often told me I won't be getting the lidocaine Eye-wink

And no morphine either, it's going to be Toradol.

And a pillow over my face when when I'm sufficiently demented enough for them to get away with it Evil

RandomThoughts wrote: And

RandomThoughts wrote:

And a pillow over my face when when I'm sufficiently demented enough for them to get away with it Evil

Does that mean we won't be seeing you back here tomorrow? Evil Laughing out loud

You guys are so funny! I

You guys are so funny! I think I just peed myself!
I didn't - I was just joking! Laughing out loud Eye-wink Laughing out loud

Hey, Wisher. Can you just

Hey, Wisher. Can you just picture Random . . . he's going through all the threads to find just that "one" comment that he can "sink his teeth into." When he finally finds it . . . watch out poster!!! . . . You have just been "randomized!!" Evil Laughing out loud Sticking out tongue

wisheronstars wrote: You

wisheronstars wrote:

You guys are so funny! I think I just peed myself!

Hmmmmm, that means you need a catheter..... Evil

RandomThoughts

RandomThoughts wrote:
wisheronstars wrote:

You guys are so funny! I think I just peed myself!

Hmmmmm, that means you need a catheter..... Evil

Er . . . um . . . excuse me, doctor . . . don't want to seem like I'm questioning you . . . but isn't that a little drastic Shocked . . . couldn't she just use some "Depends"???? Puzzled Shocked

abusedemotionally

abusedemotionally wrote:
RandomThoughts wrote:
wisheronstars wrote:

You guys are so funny! I think I just peed myself!

Hmmmmm, that means you need a catheter..... Evil

Er . . . um . . . excuse me, doctor . . . don't want to seem like I'm questioning you . . . but isn't that a little drastic Shocked . . . couldn't she just use some "Depends"???? Puzzled Shocked

Naaah, catheter....

With no Lidocaine Evil Eye-wink

Now, now, AE, be a good wife : I've taken the decision for "us" Sticking out tongue

RandomThoughts

RandomThoughts wrote:
abusedemotionally wrote:
RandomThoughts wrote:
wisheronstars wrote:

You guys are so funny! I think I just peed myself!

Hmmmmm, that means you need a catheter..... Evil

Er . . . um . . . excuse me, doctor . . . don't want to seem like I'm questioning you . . . but isn't that a little drastic Shocked . . . couldn't she just use some "Depends"???? Puzzled Shocked

Naaah, catheter....

With no Lidocaine Evil Eye-wink

Now, now, AE, be a good wife : I've taken the decision for "us" Sticking out tongue

LOL . . . Good night, Random! Thanks for a good chuckle before I called it a night! Sticking out tongue Sticking out tongue

EDIT: (I really can't see how anyone is afraid of you!! Your advatar even suits you! Cool )

After a Bladder Scan showed

After a Bladder Scan showed a PVR of 1232 cc in a Random's bladder, I went into the his room to insert a foley catheter.

The patient was an ER doctor who knew the score and he became a little agitated as I explained that I had been elected to insert the catheter.

With much to do, he finally agreed to have the procedure done.

After I had sucessfully inserted the catheter, he sat upright in bed and said, "No decent woman would have done that."

I told him I agreed and that was why I was given the job.

The famous female Olympic

The famous female Olympic skier, Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo), is not just an outstanding athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital.

She is not permitted to answer the telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU."

abusedemotionally

abusedemotionally wrote:

After a Bladder Scan showed a PVR of 1232 cc in a Random's bladder, I went into the his room to insert a foley catheter.

The patient was an ER doctor who knew the score and he became a little agitated as I explained that I had been elected to insert the catheter.

With much to do, he finally agreed to have the procedure done.

After I had sucessfully inserted the catheter, he sat upright in bed and said, "No decent woman would have done that."

I told him I agreed and that was why I was given the job.

A bladder scan ? - you must be practising in the US, we folks up north diagnose retention by palpating Eye-wink

1232 cc ? - pffftttt, *my* bladder's *much* bigger than that.... Sticking out tongue

And you know what "MOST" people say about bladder size... Evil

(and so a new urban legend is born.... Cool )

Now off to bed you go, there's a good wifey....

RandomThoughts wrote:

RandomThoughts wrote:

pffftttt, *my* bladder's *much* bigger than that.... Sticking out tongue

And you know what "MOST" people say about bladder size... Evil

(and so a new urban legend is born.... Cool )

....

Random, I don't know if you want to compare yourself to a "urban legend" . . .:

Urban legend
From Wikipedia

An urban legend or an urban myth is a form of modern folklore consisting of stories thought to be factual by those circulating them. The term is often used to mean something akin to an "apocryphal story". Like all folklore, urban legends are not necessarily false, but they are often distorted, exaggerated, or sensationalized over time. . .

People sometimes take urban legends to be true, instead of recognizing them as tall tales or unsubstantiated rumors, because of the way they are told.

. . . Many urban legends are essentially extended jokes, told as if they were true events. . .

But, then again, this IS the "humor" page! Evil Eye-wink Smiling

abusedemotionally

abusedemotionally wrote:
RandomThoughts wrote:

pffftttt, *my* bladder's *much* bigger than that.... Sticking out tongue

And you know what "MOST" people say about bladder size... Evil

(and so a new urban legend is born.... Cool )

....

Random, I don't know if you want to compare yourself to a "urban legend" . . .:

. . . Many urban legends are essentially extended jokes, told as if they were true events. . .

But, then again, this IS the "humor" page! Evil Eye-wink Smiling

...told by one, and believed by many to be true.
...but I'm not sure I even know what ya'll are talking about... Evil Perhaps one needs to ask for evidence? At least, that's my stance with most things. Sticking out tongue

Daenerys

Daenerys wrote:
abusedemotionally wrote:
RandomThoughts wrote:

pffftttt, *my* bladder's *much* bigger than that.... Sticking out tongue

And you know what "MOST" people say about bladder size... Evil

(and so a new urban legend is born.... Cool )

....

Random, I don't know if you want to compare yourself to a "urban legend" . . .:

. . . Many urban legends are essentially extended jokes, told as if they were true events. . .

But, then again, this IS the "humor" page! Evil Eye-wink Smiling

...but I'm not sure I even know what ya'll are talking about... Evil . . .

. . . I believe it's just one of those "male" things . . . you know, like talking about the size of their deck . . . Shocked Or, it could be that Random just renewed and started taking his prescription of Fukitol and . . . well . . . do I really have to explain that one? Puzzled Puzzled Cool But that's just this little wifey's interpretation . . . for what it's worth. Evil Sticking out tongue

RandomThoughts wrote: And

RandomThoughts wrote:

And you know what "MOST" people say about bladder size... Evil

I always heard it was "you know what they say about men with big feet".

Random could you post a picture of your feet?

RandomThoughts wrote:

RandomThoughts wrote:

heartthrob wrote: I always

heartthrob wrote:

I always heard it was "you know what they say about men with big feet".

Random could you post a picture of your feet?

RandomThoughts wrote:

bottom view:

top view:

eeeeewwwwwww . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You guys are really putting

You guys are really putting my bladder to the test here!
Observational studies show that it's not the size of the bladder, but the size of the hand that palpates the bladder. Eye-wink

wisheronstars wrote: You

wisheronstars wrote:

You guys are really putting my bladder to the test here!

(No subject)

Laughing out loud

(No subject)

You guys are killing me

You guys are killing me

Is there a computer geek

Is there a computer geek here? I can't pick up any pictures. I got a quick flash, and that was it....

Mairen wrote: Is there a

Mairen wrote:

Is there a computer geek here? I can't pick up any pictures. I got a quick flash, and that was it....

Hi, Mairen. I'm not quite a computer geek, but have been known to solve some puzzles with computers . . . what browswer are you using? Netscape, FireFox, Internet Explorer or other?

Edit: Can you meet me in the chat room?

abusedemotionally

abusedemotionally wrote:
Mairen wrote:

Is there a computer geek here? I can't pick up any pictures. I got a quick flash, and that was it....

Hi, Mairen. I'm not quite a computer geek, but have been known to solve some puzzles with computers . . . what browswer are you using? Netscape, FireFox, Internet Explorer or other?

Edit: Can you meet me in the chat room?

Thanks so much for your help. I really appreciate it. I checked off a few blank boxes but it didn't work. I'll have to ask a friend to come in and take a look at it, to see what's wrong.

Mairen

Mairen wrote:
abusedemotionally wrote:
Mairen wrote:

Is there a computer geek here? I can't pick up any pictures. I got a quick flash, and that was it....

Hi, Mairen. I'm not quite a computer geek, but have been known to solve some puzzles with computers . . . what browswer are you using? Netscape, FireFox, Internet Explorer or other?

Edit: Can you meet me in the chat room?

Thanks so much for your help. I really appreciate it. I checked off a few blank boxes but it didn't work. I'll have to ask a friend to come in and take a look at it, to see what's wrong.

When your computer is not working right, it can be very upsetting. I couldn't access the internet for a bit today...I know now that I have an addiction...Knowing the problem is the first step to fixing it!

Mairen wrote: Thanks so

Mairen wrote:

Thanks so much for your help. I really appreciate it. I checked off a few blank boxes but it didn't work. I'll have to ask a friend to come in and take a look at it, to see what's wrong.

Problem solved?
I can ask my son. He's a computer geek.

abusedemotionally wrote:

abusedemotionally wrote:

. . . . . . . . . . . .

AHHHH! That's...ugh..I need a long, hot bath....

Daenerys wrote: Mairen

Daenerys wrote:
Mairen wrote:

Thanks so much for your help. I really appreciate it. I checked off a few blank boxes but it didn't work. I'll have to ask a friend to come in and take a look at it, to see what's wrong.

Problem solved?
I can ask my son. He's a computer geek.

You people are great! I now have names where the pics should be, so I'm getting warmer. I'm going to leave it because last time I attempted a feat like this, it cost me $600.00...coug, cough.. For now, I'll use my imagination...LOL Thanks again.

Mairen wrote: You people

Mairen wrote:

You people are great! I now have names where the pics should be, so I'm getting warmer. I'm going to leave it because last time I attempted a feat like this, it cost me $600.00...coug, cough.. For now, I'll use my imagination...LOL Thanks again.

Do you get the smilies? and the links?

Daenerys wrote: Mairen

Daenerys wrote:
Mairen wrote:

You people are great! I now have names where the pics should be, so I'm getting warmer. I'm going to leave it because last time I attempted a feat like this, it cost me $600.00...coug, cough.. For now, I'll use my imagination...LOL Thanks again.

Do you get the smilies? and the links?

I do get the links, etc., but now instead of pics, it says, for example...Laughing out loud....wink, wink.....LOL Better than nothing, I guess....! Thanks so much!

Mairen wrote: I do get the

Mairen wrote:

I do get the links, etc., but now instead of pics, it says, for example...Laughing out loud....wink, wink.....LOL Better than nothing, I guess....! Thanks so much!

So, you've never seen any pics on this forum, ever?
What platform did you say you were using? Is it explorer or firefox? Is your computer newer or older?

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